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Hey! This is Jesmine but there are a thousand and one others out there who calls her Jia Min too! She's (finally) 18 and is more than happy to be showered with gifts on the nineth day of the third month each year. She's currently mugging in Nanyang Junior College with a bunch of cute people in 1002, but she still loves and misses her alma mater, TKGS together with her dearest 4e1 very very much. She ditched her 4-years long CCA, netball, for singing - both in choir and as a soloist (Just don't ask her to sing Don't Cry For Me, Argentina. It's Marisa's new ploy to watch a free show! And I know poor Bren's sick of playing it!) She's been stuck in Alto 2 in choir for a good ol' 5 years while her dearest conductor is still deciding whether to leave her there or transfer her somewhere else, but she takes the performing role of a mezzosoprano as a soloist (and communicate her 3-octave range using her perfect pitch to her rocking friends who in turn gives her nicknames of innate objects such as tuning fork, piano and amplifier. :/) Oops, she nearly forgot to mention that she was a part of the Superwomen(Student Welfare) committee of the Prefectorial Board back in the good ol' TKGS days. She's awesomely proud to be an Latter-Day Saint, and savouring her last year as a Laurel before she gets kicked out of YW. She loves her family and friends to bits, and in her (very little) free time, adores chilling out with her friends, attend concerts, shopping (and window shopping too. Money don't fall from the sky, y'know.), singing, tinkling on the piano, blogging, FBing and there's so much more she'll prolly need a thousand pages for her to fill up her "LOVES&HOBBIES" section. Flowers, cute huggable soft toys, helium balloons and (hand-written) letters and notes are some of her favourite things.♥

PS: I can/can't believe you just spent/wasted 5 minutes of your life reading her introductory speech. Btw, she LOVES people who tag on her tagboard, so do make sure you let her know that you were here! Have an awesome day anyway! (:






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Thursday, January 28, 2010
"Your sexy smile, the sound of your voice, the magic in your eyes. I love dreaming about you. Today, tomorrow, forever." - "Jason"

Okay, my mind is failing me like mad. I can't believe I forgot to post this yesterday (So I shall do it today, lol!)
Happy belated 20th birthday Angela! I miss you my dear alto senior! And I hope you'll find a job soon okay! :D :D :D

And happy belated 19th/20th (I really don't remember how old you are, sorry D:) Zhuo Hong!(Guy standing next to me.)(First exco's birthday of the year!) Thanks for being such an awesome tenor SL and guy soloist for Yesterday (Though I know you're so, so sick of the song, heh!), really! I can't imagine how the tenors will do without your guidance! And JASON HEARTS YOU MANYMANY! (Choir's prank for his birthday last night, NLB uploaded it on fb, go watch it HERE if you can get through the link!) And I can't believe TT agreed to be a part of this, though it was really amusing, the way he delivered the Dear Jason love letter!
(Peals of laughter, seriously!)
And I hope you liked the present, it's so functional! (Sorry, cos it's like seriously the first time I bought a present for a guy's birthday apart from my siblings and the marshmallows for Leslie last year. Haha!) Eh heh heh xP

Anyway, I'm gonna concentrate on my studies from today onwards. I don't want my parents to worry for me because it's already so tiring for them to worry for the other 2 boys in the house (One PSLE kid & the other is currently a really sad, depressing case. I never thought I would have teared over him over this and I think my life has never really been the same after that fateful day. D:) and I promise I will never, ever let myself down ever, again. :) Thank you EC for today. :)

Choir tomorrow followed by Youth Musical Practice for everyone except the choristers choristers. Another end-at-9pm plus plus day. Lol.

Okay, better get some work done now, toodles!
Xoxo.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Deja vu?

I'm starting school tomorrow.
And I'm scared. :(

WHAT WAS I THINKING WHEN I MADE THAT DECISION?!

I just don't want to ruin my future!
What if I took A's this year and end up with like, DDEE or something like that?
I can't even study in Singapore!
:(

Okay I'm going to pray. I need to. The Holy Ghost is telling me to.

And also think about how to deal with the people (more of guys) for warmups and sectionals during choir. Till today, I don't even know what's the vocal range for the guys! I just make them sing the same range as the girls, just one octave lower! (Please don't lose your voices! D:) Sigh.

Habangbirikbirikhabangbirikbirik

I need more strength, comfort and determination than before.

Goodnight, my world.

Xoxo.

Live believing, dreams are for weaving

Yeap, I'm on twitter (finally) despite still being a twitterific noobcake!
Follow me here now! :)

Anyway, I've decided to start selling my accessories again! (Okay, basically because I want earn some $$ on my own, especially for the Czech trip, so yeah! :D)
Buy for your yourself, friends, gfs, mums and everyone else for any occasion you can think of! :)
Prices are NEGOTIABLE! :)
SMS/MSN/email me at cookie-dough.jesminx@hotmail.com if you're interested! :)
Tell me the code of the one(s) that you're interested in when you SMS/MSN/email me!
My blogshop's currently under a lil' revamp, so I'm posting them here first! :D
And I'll add more stuff soon! :)
I know the picture quality is really quite sucky, but the stuff are really nice in reality!
Btw, all these are handmade by ME! (Like duh!)

Code: E001
Selling at $6.

Code: E002
Selling at $7.

Code: E004
Selling at $5.

Code: E005
Selling at $5.
Code: E006
Selling at $3.50.

Okay, I better go off now. Choir later. Loads of stuff to do today. :/
Will post more tonight! :)

Xoxo.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Unbreakable, not

Point to note: Don't ever take advantage of my kindness/just because I'm nice, because I also have a limit to my patience. And when I turn angry, you won't know me anymore.

And let me remind myself that I'm no longer in TKGSChoir - I can't do the things I want without people reminding me that I'm now in a different choir and things work differently.

Are my expectations really that high? I only wanted to help build a choir who'll have the passion for singing, a choir one that can produce correct, smooth-running notes, inject a myriad of emotions, decently good-sounding and (possibly) disciplined choir. Why does it seem so impossible?

And why, is dancing queen such a difficult and boring song that it's not possible for choir to do? And as for the longest time, how can you just give up when you feel that your part sounds weird? These really worry me - so how are we gonna pull through the competition songs then? I can assure you that the competition songs are gonna be more difficult as compared to these, much more difficult in fact.


A choir is group of people singing different parts of a song because they sounds good with all parts together and not a group singing the same lines on their own.
How, you tell me, how?

Saturday, January 23, 2010
Please take me away from here

And I almost forgot,
Happy 1-day belated birthday, Sis June!

You've been one of the most awesome YW leader I ever had, someone who I can practically talked to about anything under the sky and also listen to you rant. Most of the time you seem to be more of a friend than a leader, which is probably why it is so comfortable confiding in you. I really hope you'll continue being a good example to the many others around you and here's wishing you a good year filled with plenty of love and joy, especially from your bf! :)
(Apart from this, let me continue emoing abit. Until I've been forgiven. D:)
Xoxo.

A million worth of apologies.

I'm sorry if I scolded you.
I'm sorry if I made you upset.
I'm sorry if I wasn't there for you.
I'm sorry if I seemed too preoccupied with everything else and may seem to have forgotten you.
I'm sorry if I couldn't help solve the problem.
I'm sorry if I didn't do my part well enough to cushion the problem or lessen the pain.
I'm sorry if I've been pretty much awfully quiet, quieter than before.
I'm sorry if I did say that we weren't friends anymore.
I'm sorry if I became so exasperated I just couldn't reason anything.
I'm sorry if I screamed at you for various reasons.
I'm sorry if I said I didn't care anymore.
I'm sorry if I've been too incompetent.
I'm sorry if I get impatient.
I'm sorry if I've been shooting you down.

I'm sorry I'm such a horrible person, a horrible friend.

I hate it when I start to become a perfectionist, because perfectionist itself is imperfection and things always, always go wrong when I start drilling into the nitty gritty stuff.
I hate demanding so much when I feel that I may not be able to produce as much as I demand for.
I hate the feeling when I can do absolutely nothing to salvage the problem, and see the person crumbling down.
I hate saying things like "I don't wanna friend you anymore." or "I don't care." or "I don't wanna know." because I know that I never meant it when I said it and always end up feeling more upset than I should.
I hate seeing two parties feeling upset, and I can't find a way to patch things up.
I hate it when my voice quality goes down, down, down and I feel like I've just thrown my parent's 1 year's worth of voice training down the drain.
I hate it when I break down.
I hate my expectations for myself because most of them are so unrealistic and I can only cry when I don't meet them.
I hate when I feel exasperated and start scolding and screaming (esp. at all the innocent people) until I hear absolute silence or till I feel like I'm being listened to.

It's been only 22 days into the new year, but... (I really don't know how to describe this.)
I'm really going through wayyyyy much more than you think I am.
I've been trying to keep all this problems and pain in me, but I guess sometimes my heart rules over my head and I start becoming cranky and horrid.
For now, try to understand.
And,
I'm genuinely sorry for everything that went wrong. I really am.

:(



Today is a horrid day, and it's really my fault.

I got quite exasperated during choir cos I couldn't match the words to the notes and I couldn't feel the sense of security even when there were only 8 people singing.

(One per section:

Sop 1 - Kerlene
Sop 2 - Monica
Alto 1 - Nabillah
Alto 2 - Me
Tenor 1 - Yan Jun
Tenor 2 - Zhuo Hong
Bass 1 - Darren Boh
Bass 2 - Gabriel Chew)

And I kinda got abit overwhelmed by loads of stuff which I don't wanna mention which led to me becoming a lil' cranky and all by about 8pm and my voice became so horrendously horrible by then I don't even know where to hide my face. Okay, I think it kind of built up to the climax and I did say some stuff to Michael which I know I shouldn't have said. Shoot, and Sis Serene heard me tell him that I didn't want to be his friend anymore and she went like "Why you say that?" Okay I'm a horrible friend, I'm a horrible friend. I feel like digging myself a hole and hide underneath forever. I am so so so so so so sorry okay, please forgive me okayyyyyy :( And also to those 7 people (SLs and members) + David (who stood in for Gab for awhile), I'm also so so so so sorry that I was so terribly impatient this afternoon - I really wanted to get the song settled and done well, but I guess I'm becoming too much of a perfectionist and wanting to get the nitty gritty details done and all, not realising that I went overboard. And Gloria, I'm so sorry for whatever I said today, I'm really sorry. I still love you and you're still my closest, closest friend in Nanyang! :(

Goodness, writing all these really wanna make me cry. I'M HORRIBLEEEEEEEEEEE! D:

(To hype up the intensity, the last two songs that were on my playlists were Kiss the Rain by Yiruma and Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Smart.)

*Sobs*

Thursday, January 21, 2010
I don't want to have to pay for this


I've got a date with em' at 11.30am tomorrow. Followed by youth musical rehearsal at 7.30pm!
Which mean it's gonna be at least 4-5hours of singing again! Lol! xP
And I haven't sang in a week. (The last time was youth musical rehearsal duet practice with Aubrey, Sherman, Dennis and John and helping Michael with his part last friday.)
I pray that I haven't lost my ability to sing properly after one solid week of stoning, sigh. :(

Anyway, hangout with Mare today was absolutely awesome! We went to Bugis Street to find my bag, walked round' Bugis Junction (I got someone's present, whee!), then to Iluma before we went to the rooftop(I think) to sit down for a round of chatting cum mad bouts of laughter session! Trained to cityhall, walked around Marina before heading for Macs to sit down and talked more (well basically I wanted a drink but somehow I became hungry when I stepped in - the bar was not filling for lunch, sigh.) before we headed homeeeeeee! :D

And I'm getting really poor; I'm living on my savings till I start school :(

Okay, enough for today!
Singing, HERE I COME! :)

Xoxo.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Why he had to go, I don't know he wouldn't say

It's 4.31am in the morning, what am i doing on blogger?! (Thanks to my wifi-accessible phone, of course - I heart technology!)

Better catch a couple more hours of sleep since I'll be needing more of them in time to come. Haha!

Good night (morning) , my dears (while half the globe is still living in pitchdarkness with a tinge of saltiness in the air from the aftermath of the downpour 4hours ago.) Does that spell the start of something new or impending doom? Hmm...

I miss my J2s and I hope you guys will pull through the remaining of blocks! My heart will mentally be with you guys as you struggle through your final year. (I really cannot find a better word than struggle - my smses with Hui Chin yesterday tells me that even the cream of the crop aren't exactly in the best state of mind either, which really makes me worry for you guys. D:) And you guys know that I'm just a phonecall/sms away if you need someone to talk to. Always and forever will be. :)

(I really do need more sleep - plus Jace's gotta wake up about half an hour from now for seminary... Nyeh heh heh *gloats# :P)

Xoxo.

Monday, January 18, 2010
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes




























































(I put up most of the pictures already - still left with YW Chalet and Choir Chalet. I'll put em' up soon. :D)


Okay, this is the update I owe this place since the beginning of Jan, so I'll just summarize em' since I'm kinda lazy to do a proper update. :)

2nd Jan:
Went out with the girls minus Myra (because that woman's handphone is close to non-existent despite the 10483503864356 smses and missed calls the girls sent and called her.) to Cathay to have lunch at this Jappy place. (I forgot the name, please refresh my memory Ally!) So we ate and chatted and ate and chatted till we were so stuffed and happy! Walked around after that and stopped at a couple of stores before stopping by at Ben & Jerry's to have ice cream while admiring the tissues-infested graffitis and listen to awesome music; met Nab (which was a blessing in disguise, honestly. That later!) at gramophone. Then when we were still strolling around at Gramophone, Nab called to give us free Sherlock Holmes tickets at Grand Cathay (No wonder the girls just dragged me and Ally out of Gramophone to watch the show!) Awesome show really plus there was a free goodie bag! (Myra Lai, see, your loss! Hope Manda passed you your ticket!) Lol! We ate nachos with cheese and hotdogs after the movie (okay, weird but nevermind) before we headed home. Really enjoyed my days with my girls! Love you girls loads! :)

Next up's Sis June's advance birthday celebration last Sunday! Haha. And I just snapped a photo of the leaders. I should send it to them soon. Heh heh! xP

NY Openhouse last tuesday was pretty much a blast! The performance was pretty alright, but I know we've got loads and loads to improve on! And yes, thanks Malian, Debzzzz and Feeyona for screaming my name (and Gloria's! We really should have expected that, but I think I was too dazed to think that they'll do it. Lol!) And thanks Yee Mun, Hui Yi, Joyce and Shuan for coming over for the openhouse! Shuan came at an uncanny timing of 3.30pm when the openhouse was supposed to end at 4pm! Smart boy! (But at least he came anyway! Haha!)

Crashed RJ's openhouse the next day with Hui Yi, Joyce and Shuan (thanks to Ying Er - and her stringE performance had to include Don't Cry For Me Argentina of which Hui Yi was laughing at meeee while Shuan was just trying to keep himself unfrozen, haha!) before going over to school for choir which was pretty much a successful practice! Learnt a new score which I really love, and helping to teach tenor 1 because they couldn't finish teaching in time (Really not easy since I can't hit the low tenor notes despite my 3 octave range, but again, I AM AN ALTO/MEZZO, so I am forgiven. Haha.) Didn't help that Han Si was sick and B was a lil' too soft, with poor Yan Jun getting a lil' upset (It's really alright, DINGDONG! Don't be pissed/upset anymore kayzzz!) But it was fun when Mr T put the songs together. Hohoho! xP Rushed for institute after that, and I only managed to reach at 8.10pm! (It's supposed to end at 8.30pm alright!) Of course, when I opened the door, everyone was laughing at meeeeeeeee plus it didn't help that it was almost fullhouse (= chairs all taken up + back really full + had to walk to the front + take another chair from the stacked pile + look embarassed) Ohwell. But I really love institutes on weds! The ones on saturdays are... well, let's say it's another story altogether. Haha. Had to call the appeal kids after that to come down to NY for audition the next day, and guess what? I called SONIA ANG!!! (YESH IT'S LIKE KENRIC'S SISTER OKAYYYYY!) I was so stunned when her name was on the list, lol!

Helped out with appeal auditions on thursdays! I think this bunch of kids are really lucky, having the privilege to audition in the choir room, unlike me and Gloria who had to audition at some 5th floor classroom where we were pretty confused as how to get there! :( And there was Pooh there for consolation! Haha, and Mr T hugging Pooh was quite funny, until Mrs Lee told him that it wasn't umm... very clean = haven't been washed in awhile. Lol! xP Anyway, I understand the anxiety of these girls and guys; I've been through the same stuff last year! Chinatown with Bren and Deb to get my stuff; thanks for accompanying girls! :) Haha, now I can make more stuff before school starts and give them as presents/sell them or something. Lol! Will post a couple up soon! :)

Choir was cancelled on friday because the J2s wanted time to mug for blocktest (jiayou my dears!) so I went straight for the youth musical rehearsal at 7ish! Now I'm singing with Aubrey, Sherman and Dennis/John (I think the last two boys are like singing for one slot each. There are two performing slots if I'm not mistaken.) Basically there were alot less people on friday because the only people who had to turn up were the soloists, narrators and instrumentalists. I really love singing with my group of people! (Even though there's no more Yee Mun now D: Nevermind, I can still sing with you in NYChoir! I'm so excited for you to join me! :D) And Michael was epic funny/fail please. Hui Yi/Me sang with him like 10984523 times and he still cannot get his part right. Lol! It's really funny actually, especially when Hui Yi went to practice her other song with April and Titus with Sister Judy, so I had to practice with Michael. And EVERYTIME HE SINGS "GOOD FRIENDS" (the chorus part) , it's 99.999999999% OUT OF TUNE. So I always whack him and told him to start from the beginning again. Aiyo. Lol! Myra's complaining how he has no musicality. I hope Han's able to do some magic on him when he teaches him the choir warmup stuff. HAHA.

Saturday was spent with the AMK Youth. Cycling in the morning, followed by lunch at BK's Sat at the breakwaters for awhile before I went home to change before meeting Salted Pig in church. (And that woman cut her hair till it became so short and she look more manly than ever. D: She credited it to the hairdresser who did her hair in China anyway. I pray that your hair will shoot out faster!) Went to Plaza Sing to look at scrapbook stuff with the youth before they decided to watch a movie which never happened in the end due to the lack of efficiency and decisiveness. Ahwell, Gayle don't be sad and cranky kay! I still love you! :) Dinner treat from Bishop at Upper East Coast/Tanah Merah (I really don't know where is it!) at some Chinese restaurant where we had awesome food, especially the Chilli crab! (And I learnt how to peel open the crab! Wooh! :D) Reached home at 10.30ish where I was so so so exhausted yet I still stayed up to read my scriptures before I slept. (Kudos to me! :D)

Well, seems like my summary has turned into a mini thesis! I better get going. Start on the storybooks I borrowed from the national library just now before scriptures reading, I guess. Haha! :)

Au revoir.

Xoxo.


Sunday, January 17, 2010

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY LIHSING! (Okay, this is the only picture I can find of the both of us even though I look weird here. D: But you look fine, so that's all that mattered for now!)
Hope you have an awesome one and I miss you loads! Meetup soon and meanwhile, I hope you're having fun at ACJC!(despite the mad workload!) :) I shall find some way to pass you your present! Yay! :D

HAPPY BELATED 19th BIRTHDAY JEANETTE!(The one with the rainbow-printed tee)! (HAHA UNGLAM!)
I LOVE unglam peektures of GNET! (Okay, I'm kidding) Thanks for being such an awesome, awesome choir senior (even though I wasn't from Sop) but you were still very funny and randomly high on chocolate (especially kitkat!) and have some unglam photos of me which you love to put on fb. *pouts* Anyway I still owe you kitkat for present! (Or do you want a collection of unglam photos of you?) :)

Sigh I miss both of them. Okay shall post more another day!
(I know I still owe you guys pictures alright! I'm... a bit lazy. Lol!)

Xoxo

Sunday, January 10, 2010
Time to love

Even though I cannot assure you of your 6points at 2pm tmr,
I can be there by your side to let you cry on/scream for joy if need be.
My phone will be with me if you need a chat.

I don't believe in luck, so...
All the best for O's results and don't be so nervewrecked yea? :)
(This is the time where I wished I had an older sibling, but I guess someone' gotta do the dirty job anyway.)

Xoxo.

Saturday, January 09, 2010
Just keep that rhythm, everything you've got

Went over to Gloria's place today to use her hair dryer to do the wooden pegs things for openhouse on tuesday because my hair dryer died. :( Anyway, this is dear Gloria trying to be kind by putting the pegs back in place while we chatted and me snapping a photo of her with my lousy 2MP (D:) phone cam. Heehee. I love Gloria TTM because Gloria = BFF in NY! :)


And yesterday after choir practice, we started trying Jin Yang's specs. Don't ask me why. Lol. Notice how we kept our eyes shut when we put on his specs! Lol! xP
Choir BBQ. This is Kerlene(left) the pro chef BBQ-ing chicken wings, Yan Jun(back) the Ding Dong(who also prides in calling me dingdong :/) buttering the BBQ food and David(front) the guy in the grey choir tee opening a packet of sausage. Hungry me.
Gabrielchewwende should totally learn how to sit properly to take a photo with his dear gf. I know you know that's the trishaw rider shot. Haha! Seriously. Anyway, Oli said that this is the first photo of just the both of them together, so guess I'm honoured to be the photographer of their first loveshoot. Haha xP
Okay, I totally forgot to zoom out the cam, but I think it's a cool shot! :)
New Year Resolution.
(I know it's a realllll long one.)
Guess I've got loads of stuff I really wanna accomplish this year. Heehee.
Okay, I shall list out most of my resolutions since I'm kinda bored now. (Because I know you can't read from the picture - it's rather blur. Heh :P)
1. To continue loving everyone around me - basically my family and friends.
2. To be spiritually fed and inspired in church - be it Sunday School, YW, Institute or Firesides.
3. To complete personal progress.
4. To live the gospel's standards and keep the word of wisdom.
5. To continue keeping in contact with as many people as possible and cherish every relationship with everyone.
6. Lose weight. Lol.
7. Exercise! Either running/gyming/play sports once a week. Where's RASSSSSSSSSSSS? :(
8. At least SILVER for NAPFA! (I missed it by one point last year, thanks to my shuttle-run by 0.1sec! D: )
9. Learn how to cycle properly.
10. Learn to let go of my unhappy past and face reality - Be Strong!
11. Good time management!
12. Be a better student conductor.
13. Successful NYJChoir concert (14th May!) and Stake Musical (March!) (A FULLHOUSE audience will be awesome!)
14. Do our best for Olomouc trip! :)
15. Do well in academics. Ace it, actually!
16. Learn to let my head rule my heart and not the other way round'.
17. Church Standards.
18. Stop hurting myself emotionally.
19. Stay close to God.
20. To be a better pianist and voice soloist.
21. To perform a solo/duet for at least one performance.
22. Complete the Book of Mormon.
23. Complete the 2 semesters of Institute.
24. Keep up with my daily scripture reading and prayers.
The rest are for me to know and for you to find out. (Unless you can see it from the photo, which is really quite difficult.) I'll prolly add more resolutions on my list in time to come. :)
Better get my scores printed now! :) Ciao!
Xoxo.