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PS: I can/can't believe you just spent/wasted 5 minutes of your life reading her introductory speech. Btw, she LOVES people who tag on her tagboard, so do make sure you let her know that you were here! Have an awesome day anyway! (: You always drop me a mail/add me on MSN/FB at: cookie-dough.jesminx@hotmail.com
(She'll do more editing here after the big PROMOS okay? :D) My other link 1 My other link 2 My other link 3 Birthday Wishlist 2010 1. The big Spongebob &/or Patrick Soft Toy from Toys R' Us! 2. The Pluto dog! (I think they sell it at More than Words?) 3. Big, big POOH SOFT TOY! :D 4. Any other gigantic and cute soft toys! (LOL I never seem to be sick of soft toys, LOL!) 5. A new pair of converse sneakers/shoes! My "new" pair of nike school shoes JUST DIED ON ME and I'm wearing my sad old mickey-mouse-edition adidas shoes again. LOL. 6. Big helium balloon! 7. Flowers! 8. Dresses! (Idk why I suddenly start to like wearing dresses, LOL!) 9. Handmade DIY scrapbook/collages and stuff! (And please don't plaster like 1001 unglam photos of me or something! :/ LOL!) 10. Letters/Notes! 11. Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner/Other Dates! 12. Surprises! (Not the bad ones though, HAHA!) 13. School Bag/Carry-out bag! 14. A nice new pair of heels! ♥Blogshop AMK Youth LDS Website NYJC NYJChoir TKGS TKGPB TKGChoir Family ♂Jace Ong ♀Lam Kar Mun;KM ♀Neo Hui May ♂Ong Chu Xian;Chuzanna ♀Sidney Magliari;Sid KHS ♀Amanda Lim ♀Amanda Tan ♀Chua Si Min ♀Karan Liow ♀Kek Yan Lin ♀Lee Miao Qian;Kellyn ♀Ng Zhao Ying;Housefly ♀Rachel Yeung ♀Sharlene Lee ♀Stella Tan ♀Tay Hui Shia;Cynthia TKGS 2/5'06 ♀Chelsea Tan ♀Deborah Quek ♀Jovina Low ♀Lee Kailing;Kai ♀Lim Yan Jun;YJ ♀Victoria Chan TKGS 4/1'08 ♀Dionne Teo ♀Grace Chan;Bestie ♀Lim Hwee Key ♀Marianne Loh ♀Melissa Chia;Mel ♀Noelle Leow ♀Sabrina;Saggaye ♀Sheree Lim ♀Soh Yi Ai;Beaver ♀Sylvia Tong;Daokia ♀Whimsy Yu ♀Wynne Lim TKGS Choir ♀Brenda Lai;Bread ♀Deborah Lock;Enzyme ♀Elsa Chan;Sa ♀Fiona Tan;Fi ♀Loy Zhi Jun ♀Marianne Ng;Mare ♀Sandy Khoo;Snad ♀Sarah Ng ♀Sherlyn Koh;Bero ♀Syafiqah Adha';Syaf ♀Victoria Koh;Viktorya ♀Vivi Tan ♀Yap Yi Ying;Y3 TKGS PB ♀Aisyah ♀Carol Lin ♀Donna Chua ♀Goh Yi Zhen ♀Lim Xuan Han;Loanshark ♀Michelle;Mishe TKGS OLP ♀Felicia Chan ♀Jane Leong ♀Lim Zheng Yuan ♂Kenneth Tay ♂Travis Tan TKGians ♀Shermin Chan ♀Suzanna Farid ♀Toh Yi Qian;YQ NYJC 0901 ♀Fecilia Liew ♂Jin Yang;JY ♀Kerlene;Leney ♀Ras ♀Sahana;Nana ♀Sally Goh NYJC Choir ♀Anita Set;Annie ♀Charissa Ong ♀Charmaine Tan ♂Gabriel Cheow;Moomoo ♀Jeanette Choong;Gnet ♀Kiew Chi Wei ♀Nabillah;NLB ♀Olivia Djawoto;Oli ♀Ruth Teo;YTF Pro LDS Youth ♀Ally Chan ♀Amanda Loh;Manda ♀Aubrey Soh ♀Bea Cahigas;Bear ♂Benjamin Huang;Benjy ♂Bryan Chia ♀Casey Lee;Cas ♂Chong Woon Han;Han ♀Erin Wu ♂Galvin Tan ♀Gayle Tan ♀Joyce Tan;Headachemate ♀Malia Ang;Cookie ♀Michiyo ♀Marisa Khong;Sasa ♂Michael Lee;Mike ♀Myra Lai;Myla Rai ♀Nora Soh ♀Quinne Tan;Quin ♂Royden Tan; Roy ♀Sethrina Ng;Seth ♀Shauna Foo ♂Sherwayne ♂Tan Wen Jie ♂Trent Lai Others ♂Andres Lim;Chemical ♂Endy ♀Fangmin
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Sunday, November 29, 2009
The loser standing small
WORD OF THE DAY: INADEQUATE.
Okay, yes yes, even though my bro has been saying that and annoying the hell out of the poor AMK youth people with his new pet word (Apart from nia and ita. Can't stand him sometimes.), it's pretty much true, I guess. I'm feeling this sort of inadequatecy and perhaps, incompetence. I don't know, I can be all high, happy and hyper on the outside but I know the inside of me is still feeling wayyy too insecure. Deja vu much? This year has challenged me in so many aspects. This year, I have been literally thrown me down on my knees. I know I can't say I had my share of joy - my most awesome bunch of choircomm members, conductors and teachers, some of the best few buddies I've had in JC, a couple of delightful and inspiring teachers, prized secondary school BFFs, understanding church members to share my weals and woes with me. I understand through pain only then can you see the people who really love you for who you are, but, why must I really go through so much just to see. Why must I shed so much tears and sweat, suffer through sleepless nights, go close to bersark trying to complete assignments and study for CTs and LTs, only to suffer the immense pain of failure. AGAIN. Everytime I assure myself that I've tried my best, the results are just too bleak to make my assurance feel real. Either I'm incompetent or I'm just getting too weary for my own good. I keep telling myself to pick myself up from wherever I fall, but I genuinely have no idea how long I can try to psycho myself. I'm sorry, whoever's reading this. I'm actually getting tired putting up a facade front in front of everyone, but I know I must. Okay, maybe not a must, but, I don't know why I always sense the guilt when people come up to me and say "Hey Jes, are you alright?" (Like Oli) or "Hey, you okay or not?" (Like Chewy, after Oli's question.) Especially my family members, my parents. I know, despite their nagging and all, they're the most worried for me, especially seeing how I've never been so down for the 17 years of my existance ever. I love my family. I love church. I love choir. I love 0901. I don't want to give up any of these, but I guess it's too much greed on my side. I know, it's time to sacrifice some things. I hate failure. I really do. But I suppose I've never really experienced failure for the past 17 years, so perhaps, this might be the time of trial. On my seventeenth year, I've turned into a (close-to-complete) rebel. So where has that sweeter demeanor gone to? I need to kneel and pray fervently, again. While I continue anticipating silently, (please call soon, please call soon. I hope I'm not waiting for nothing.) The winner takes it all, the loser standing small. (still)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
This is life - candycoated. My case is still pending. So, it's just me, To the people who have been keeping tabs on me, I want to be the same old me, again. How much longer will it take before I genuinely go mad?
Sunday, November 15, 2009
D-DAY. Like seriously.
TOMORROW.
It's coming wayyyy sooner than I thought. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ): Must chill must chill. ):
Saturday, November 14, 2009
More often than not, are hotter than hot
Heyya!
I think my post are just getting ridiculously trashy, (alright pardon my half-conscious mind). Just itsy bitsy updates on my (not-so) mundane life the past few days. Wednesday late morning/afternoon was spent meeting up with Sab to develop the photos for Jes' photo album at Parkway. It's been ages since I've been to Parkway, and that place really changed quite a bit! Had lunch and chat session with her at Subway's before roaming around the whole of Parkway! Had 2 minutes worth of cam-w session (because that was the amount of time her cam allocated for us.) before she chionged home to change and make her way to Tamp Safra for her bowling session while I bused home. Practiced voice and piano for awhile before making my way down to church. The traffic was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD, I was late but the turnout was pretty awesome. Like at least 50 youths, I think. We learnt a couple of songs for the musical which will prolly be sung for Seminary Grad which is gonna fall on the 21st this month. NO MORE 5.45am LESSONS! NO MORE WAKING UP AT UNCANNY HOURS OF THE MORNING! (I know I've said that a million times, but i can't help it!) Thursday morning was spent helping Mum marinade her defrost chicken (I know Sab will laugh.) before meeting up with Gloria and Yiying at Paya Lebar MRT to go to Vivo. We had plans to have a picnic but the plan failed because we decided on LJS instead. HAHA. Went up to the open space to celebrate Yiying's 2 months' belated birthday with my brownies, chillout, relax and cam-w; superduper awesomeness! Walked around Vivo thereafter (and spent alot of time at Toys R' Us. We were just trying to reminisce our childhood. HAHAHA!) because it started to drizzle but we went back to the open space again when we were tired later. Walked down to B&J's to have my fav's cookiedough (and they chose chocolate mint, I think). I love B&J's tissue; I think it's reallyreally cool! :) Trained home after that, FB and practiced piano. I went to bake AGAIN on friday morning because I was absolutely bored and didn't feel like going out (due to choir prac in the afternoon) so I made 3 batches! Yay! Anyway, thank goodness I chose not to go out because it POURED. So I popped by KM's place at 3plus to collect my GC and the math paper and gave her brownies too before busing to school for choir. I guess choir was pretty alright today, Mr C. attempted to combine Ave Maria which sounded decently good for a first attempt (since everyone have short breathspan and cannot hold on for like, more than 8 crotchet counts at a really slow pace.) I can't feel the sacredness though, and there's like, almost no choral feeling. It's like 4 sections trying to play blast the music, so I guess we'll have to work on all those. And all the semitone problems. Sighsighsigh. It's a pretty decent version of Ave Maria, but I wished they chose the nicer versions though. ): Oh well. Room for loads of improvement, and I'm pretty confident we'll shine at the end of the day. Got "kicked out" of LT2 after practice because the ISLE(PRC) people were gonna use the LT so we ended up having to go to Bishan for exco dinner/meeting. Oh yea, gave the brownies to the exco to try after choir practice too. I HOPE THEY REALLY TASTE DECENT/NICE and not because you're trying to console me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :) I know Yan Jun and Charmaine were asking for second helpings though! Yan Jun was close to eating Oli's share! That pig! Haha! I guess I may do them for Christmas if time permits. Anyway we ended everything past 9.30pm, so I rushed back home! Reached home wayyyy past 10 man. AND the friday the 13th had to end with a sad ending because the water pump burst (apparently) and we had NO WATER! Yes, no water to shower, no water to drink (We use filtered water from the tap. I don't know where they bought the filter from, don't ask me. Haha!), no water to wash the clothes, etc. THANK GOODNESS KM lives opposite our place, so we went over to shower before going home! TY! :) :) :) Went to ACS(BR/P) carnival with Deb and Mare this morning and met Shuan, Elsa, Salted Pig, and the Collin person there. I guess this year's carnival wasn't really fun as compared to the other years (I'm referring to the carnival itself) but we (me, Deb, Mare) had cam-w session outside the hall (Where we did our sad concert last year) which was retardedly fun! Haha! Went with them to look for their prom dresses, and I guess Deb and Mare found a couple of decent ones (and prolly going back to buy before tuesday?) Went to church before going to Taka with the fam and back home now, with my feet really, really sore and needs a good rub. Haha! On my way home, as I was sitting in the luxury of my mum's car, my mind was just wandering around randomly. What if I did not quit dance in Pri 1? Was it a blessing in disguise to lose that pair of leotards? I remembered having one ballet lesson in some rather prestigious school when I was really young, (can't remember where though) and spent a couple of months in KHS dance club. The training was really painful; I remembered I couldn't split the first few times so the teacher/dance instructor placed all her weight on me and forced my legs to split. It hurt so much I nearly cried when I did that. Practices were crazy and all. I guess the past few months made quite a big impact in my life. The way I walk now is rather different from others (After someone told me and I made quiet observations on my own), the way I attempt to potray myself... I don't know, it just seemed so different. I mean, I'm just saying that dance could have been one of the possibilty, a conjecture. Then I remember after I quit dance, my parents wanted me to join Chinese Orchestra, so I tried. On the first practice, they assigned me to the erhu section. Yes, you didn't read it wrong. ERHU SECTION! I don't know why, but I guess at that time I/we had the stereotypical feeling that erhu(s) were played by old people so in the end I also quit CO! So I stopped CCAs completely (since they weren't even compulsary in P1 & 2 to begin with, so yea. Lol!) I finally had my final CCA, netball (like yes, it was my parents' choice again, no doubt. Maybe partly I didn't really know what I wanted either. ) which I managed to stick on to till the end of my pri school days despite the rather hectic training. So there you go. This is what a half an hour ride does to my brain. HAHA. Alright, exhausted. Shall try to update pictures soon. (Because I have no pictures with me! D: Wed's with Sab, Thurs' with Gloria, Fri's with Oli Djawoto and Today's with Mare.) HAHA :D Till then, Tata! :) I somewhat got over, I think. I hope I will. Soon. Meanwhile, I'll still stay strong. :) Xoxo. [/EDIT] PS: I just remembered when Gabchew was talking to Oli and I about ACS carnival when he said "I brought home three bottles of peanut EPIC GAB, EPIC. :) I'm helping you to advertise your comedian services here. (Oli, I'm sure you'll approve of it right? :P)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Say your name, out loud.
![]() To waste time away, I baked brownies today! :) Turned out rather decently, though I don't know if it can last till friday to let the exco try. Myra and Sab are gonna be the first 2 guinea pigs tmr. :) Quite amusing how our exco is such a food-loving bunch. Maybe we should change choir to food-club. Haha! And I'm tempted to bake again. On thursday, perhaps. :) Anyway, I was planning to post this up awhile back but I was so tied down by everything that made my life so dreary and bleah, but at least the second worst is over thus far. And yes, I shall not digress. So here's the video I wanted to post. Yes, it's sung by Gcheow(My conductor, no doubt) and it's really good, so yes it's a must watch. (Okay, my only problem with the video is that it's a lil' disturbing to see 7 of him at one go. And the joke about him only having 9 sets of clothes and being called ahboy by Mrs L. Comical. Lol!) Choir! Watch and learn! :) Somehow, singing gives me the sense of happiness that seems seemingly impossible to attain through other means. I know this may sound a lil' shocking to some, but I really can't wait for friday's choir practice to come. Somehow choir seems like one of the few things that pulled me together throughout my NY days so far. I guess achievements in choir don't seem to play a very huge role for me anymore. True, TKGchoir has been an achieving choir, but there's also all the pain and setbacks that come along with it. NYchoir, on the other hand, may have been one that was close to nearly being disbanded last year (as told by the people), but look how far we've come. From a "we-shouldn't-go-for-SYF" to a silver is definitely an achievement for everyone here. I mean, I guess we've gone through quite a bit, came so far. I'll never wanna leave choir, ever. I know, it's been only perhaps 4 months, but holding on to the position as a student conductor in the choir has taught me alot. Apart from giving me the chance to do warmups and combine songs, it taught me the different skills of conducting, how to communicate with people, how to deal with conflicts, etc. I guess many things come with experience, and this is no exception. I'm also really glad that there's Gchew to help out in the discipline (cos I know I can be rather CMI in it.) and all. I guess I'm still learning from him, how to be cool and collected while handling matters. I've start practicing on my piano and voice, and also for Fiona's voice exam (yes finally, I know!) I guess I might just start studying again. Real soon. I've somewhat thought it through. My aim, at the end of my 2/3-years college life (Depends if I get retained or not), is to go to a uni and get into the course of my choice. As much as I would like to stay in Singapore and study in either Med school/FASS(Unless I have a change of heart or something) in NUS, if I genuinely can't make it, I guess I'll prolly just have to take SATs and study in BYU Provo (hopefully). Or perhaps Uni of Melbourne? Anyway, at the end of the day, the unis are still recognised in Singapore, only more costly due to all the extra expenses. Ah well, I guess I just have to try getting my straight A's first before making any decision. If I can get into NUS, I wanna join choir again. Haha. (How is that shocking anyway? Lol!) Sigh just now D went to change my status on fb and cause too many comments to flood, but I forgave her since she's super sorry about it. Just don't do it again alright? :) Alright, I better get some sleep. I'm supposed to meet Sab at 11am later at PP, followed by going to church in the evening. :) It's 1.35am! Argh! Anyway, O level people, you guys are ending soon! Perservere! J1s not done with OP, you guys are ending soon too! Persevere! A level people, it's less than a month to the end of your tertiary education. Hang on, be strong! It'll be over sooner than you know. :) Doowahdoowahdoowahdoowahdoowah! :) Xoxo.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Goodbye Project Work.
OP IS OVER! PW IS OFFICIALLY OVER!
NO MORE PI. NO MORE GPP. NO WR. NO MORE EOM. NO MORE I&R. NO MORE OP. NO MORE PW FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER! THIS CALLS FOR A MASSIVE CELEBRATION!!! (Of course after everyone's done with theirs!) (PS: I'm sorry for the CAPS, but I'm on cloud 9 now. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) BE GONE, AND NEVER RETURN! (Okay, except for the getting back of the results part. I WANT AN A AFTER TEN MONTH OF SLOGGING!) :D :D :D Xoxo.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
So take a look at me now, it's just an empty space
Firstly, I should decide whether to whack GABRIELCHEWWENDE who was supposed to take warmups and stuff today BUT I ENDED UP DOING IT AGAIN! G! Idk, you're SO doing it tomorrow, I tell you! I'm genuinely deciding whether to laugh or to cry. My. life. sucks. right. now. And I'm exhausted. Early night tonight then. And more OP, OP and OP. I'm tired of this trash. TRASHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Xoxo.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Stay till winter ends, would you?
![]() A card. A pair of earrings. A page of lyrics. A sachet of homegrown lavender from the USofA. Today is one Sunday I'll never forget. BEAUTIFUL TO HIM So much noise So much peace destroyed I can hardly hear the voice Leading me through the void So much noise The world's little lies Destruction in disguise Opportunities to compromise To make me beautiful in their eyes But I'm not gonna buy The world lies Cause I define myself And find my beauty in the light he gives I'm refined by his divine intention everyday I live It doesn't matter what the world believes Or what they say that beauty means It comes from within I wanna be beautiful to Him He's given me his trust So I'll be strong enugh To run from a dangerous touch I don't need that kind of "love" I don't need that crutch He's given me His trust Cause I define myself And find my beauty in the light he gives I'm refined by his divine intention everyday I live It doesn't matter what the world believes Or what they say that beauty means It comes from within I wanna be beautiful to Him I know how to shine My life's not really mine It's not about a worldly climb It's all about his design So in his eyes I wanna shine Cos I define myself And find my beauty in the light he gives I'm refined by his divine intention everyday I live It doesn't matter what the world believes Or what they say that beauty means It comes from within I wanna be beautiful to Him I wanna live to have His peace And feel the holiness He sees It comes from within I wanna be beautiful To Him.
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you, let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." Xoxo.
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