I believe in yesterday.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

You're better than the best

I'm feeling a lot better at this stage, thanks olivia, gabrielchew, yan jun, sis june, sis marlene, galvin, yeemun, geraldine, amandaloh, marianneng and anyone else if i accidentally left you out (i'm sorry!) for being here for me and the encouragement and wellwishes. (:

I guess everything just came by too suddenly, with thursday being the start of the nightmare but i guess i've calmed down a little since then.

Dad's op's later (yes it's already 11plus pm and stuff, he's been delayed by 2 other emergency case), really want it to be successful without the complications - and then it'll be a load off my chest. The rest of the problems can wait.

Guess it's times like this where you see how powerful prayers turn out to be.

I need a proper break after mids.
Xoxo.

PS: I've been laughed at for the past 5 days over my bangs (especially by the boys! :/) - is it that laughable/weird?! :(

PPS: Marianne Ng, Olivia, Gabriel Chew, Kenneth Tay, Sabrina, Sahana, Valerie Chew, Charmaine, Ee Chien and Fiona Tan - thanks for being really awesome studdybuddies for the last 2 weeks of the hols, you guys totally saved me from overslacking during the holidays and i hope most of you were about as productive as me though I still can't finish studying to date, lol! (:

PPPS: Mare, I know you aren't having it easy at this point in time either, but know that I'll be here for you whenever you need me alright, even if it's 3am in the morning. Love you truckloads. (:

Friday, June 25, 2010

Singing my life with his words

Tonight, on the way home from the hospital, this particular song was playing on radio and I started singing my alto two part alongside.

I heard him sang a good song,
I heard he had a style,
And so I came to see him and listen for awhile.
And there he was this young boy,
Singing clear and strong.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words.
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly
With his song,
Telling my whole life,
With his words.
Killing me softly with his song.

I felt all flushed with fever,
Embarassed by the crowd
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud
I pray that he would finish,
But he just kept right on.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words.
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly
With his song,
Telling my whole life,
With his words.
Killing me softly with his song.

I really miss singing with TKGSChoir.
Xoxo.

Hearts spin in a giddy whirl

On a lighter note, here's a photo of my dearest niece, half a globe away from me residing in NY (courtesy of Rob Mag's fb of which I saw last night.) The photos of her always melt my heart... :)
Some of my relatives tell me that she's the american version of the toddler me, haha. :)

It's good to be a child again, isn't it.
Adorable, innocent, flawless and full of love.

Alright, I'll try to sleep.
Xoxo.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

落水天

Right now, I feel like the most useless daughter, ever.

I should really be at the hospital attending to my Dad instead of staying at home looking after this 12yearold adolecent brother of mine. The other boy MIA-ed (went out with friends and turned off his phone according to Jones) till I used my mobile to call him so I guess he didn't turn out to be as mature and sensible as I felt that he became. So the disappointment sets in. Cancelled my mugging session with Val to stay at home to look after Jones. So I guess I'll be mugging alone unless someone can just turn up at my place to study with me. But okay that's not the point.

I still feel hopeless anticipating at home listlessly attempting to read econs while my heart really isn't here anymore.

I need a prayer right now.
I could ask for a prayer from everyone now.
And I must not cry though I'm really scared.

Sometimes at times like this I wished there was a special someone who could tell me that everything will be okay.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

For once I'm lost for words

"Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me, but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." -Alma 37:6

I am grateful for the Book of Mormon not being just another testament of Jesus Christ but also for being an extra source of guideline to help increase my gospel standards.

And I'm grateful for BFFs like EC in my life. (:
Thank goodness you have a strong heart to stomach every nitty gritty thing I said today though I might have had you induced a heartattack. I'm sorry I'm always giving you a heart attack, but in a different way this time, I guess. But I'm glad I told you everything today - I guess it's one of those moments that really allows me to reinforce what my priorities as a JC student really are despite how the emotional side is taking a toll on me. I realised that no matter how I feel towards any issue, my academics are still my top priority at this point of my life. Now I'm gonna just concentrate on mye & promos, everything else can wait till post-promos. (: This time, I'll promise that I'm on my way to getting promoted. :D

You know, I think most of the most awesome and closest friends I've made in my life and the people are the people I met during my secondary school days. (:

Okay, so anyway mugging session on Monday and Tuesday with Charm and K respectively were pretty much productive for me (and unfortunately vice versa for both of them, LOL!)Went to Marina Barrage to fly kites with the AMK YWs after mugging with K on tues; sorry not a very good girl to have done that - should have been mugging but flying kites and throwing them do relieve stress heehee! (: Today was highly unproductive with EC because our mugging session ended up as a HTH session (it's okay EC, really!), but I guess my Wednesdays were never productive so I've gotta buck up tomorrow with Fee and Friday with Valchew. I haven't found a mugger partner for Saturday yet though; and I'm contemplating whether to pop by at Nora and Trey's 17th and 16th combined birthday because I can't seem to finish studying. :( I guess I'll see how things go.

Btw, I have gone to the dark side and change more than 1/2 of the music in my phone's playlist - a swop of good choral music to more theatre and (the main bulk's worth of) mainstream music. And dumped Symphony 104 out of my phone's playlist. (Sorry i don't even know why it was still in my phone, much less in my lappy, but I can't really bear to dump the clip in the recycle bin for some reason, hahahaha!) Yay for Jay Sean, Jon Mayer, Michael Buble, Beyonce, Alison Krauss & Whitney Housten. :)

(I'm sorry to myself.)

Back to mugging mode, and Math tuition at 8.30am at Sengkang before mugging session with Fee at Esplanade library tmr. Seriously, idk what possesed me to push my tuition to some crazy hour in the morning. :/
Xoxo.

Someday I know it will all turn out

This is horrid - I've been yanked out of bed at 7.30am every morning since Monday just because Jones has supplementary lessons in school. :(
Mids are starting in 6days and I can't finish studying, especially Bio and Econs and those are the first 2 papers when I start exams on tuesday! I shall mug Bio and Econs today. *sighs*

Sis June gave me a packet of Dark Kitkat yesterday at Marina Barrage and I promise I nearly screamed when I saw how much chocolate I have in my fridge - a bar of toblerone, a packet of 3 of ferroro rocher, 3 bars of chocolate from ikea, a bar of fruits&nuts cabury chocolate, a packet of cabury chocolate eggs and the latest addition of the dark kitkat. And I still have chocolates from Czech and Vienna! Speaking of losing weight, HAHA. And Jace has a big box of merci chocolate and another big box of some-other-brand chocolate. (can't remember)

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Symphony 104 was playing on my lappy's playlist which was on shuffle just now. What a great way to start the day (when I'm being reminded how I had to study Haydn which was pretty much... painful. D:)

Okay, I shall get started on the not-so-long-awaited bio project (actually I just need the code to post on to webpaint, but why no one knows the code?! O.o) and head down to Bishan to meet EC for a brand new day of mugging later. :D

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH after midyears I promise I'll just go out and hangout with people and throw my notes aside for awhile. And maybe go fly kite, iceskate, bowl, picnic, shopping and whatever else I can't do (legally) right now. :D

Toodles!
Xoxo.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Cold wind

Speaking of a random MSN conversation when someone's wayyy too bored while I was attempting to read my econs lecture notes at 5words/min.

(in the middle of the conversation)
Kenneth Tay: backies
jesminx: LOL backies sounds like act cute english lol
Kenneth Tay: i'm cute mah
Kenneth Tay: :D
jesminx: ohmy! Are you sure i'm speaking to the right person?
jesminx: hahaha
Kenneth Tay: yup
Kenneth Tay: i'm sure i am
jesminx: need to see a doctor? lol!
jesminx: you're like the first guy to say that you're cute leh LOL
Kenneth Tay: there's room for many firsts
Kenneth Tay: teehee
...
Before that he was telling me to sleep soon cos I was tired and half an hour later I was still talking to him because he was bored and sian from a day of math LOL.

And then there was Jinyang who was trying to amuse me by telling me "It's 38mins to choir's 1st month and it's special because it's an infant industry!"
LOL. I think he studied too much econs. And I'm so sorry I didn't reply later on cos I fell asleep on my comfy bed heehee!

I really have retarded friends. Okay, it was pretty much amusing for someone who was kinda brain dead, lol.

This week is libwawyweek!
Marine Parade, Esplanade, Bishan, (Unsure), Geylang East.

And I only get to sleep in a little more tomorrow because Esplanade opens at 11am!
Okay MY BRAINS ARE JUST DYING GOODNIGHT WORLD SLEEP WELL (:

Think of me fondly

Last night I had a dream.
'For a moment we seemed pretty distant, but the next thing i knew was you holding me really close to you, telling me i'm yours and promising you'll always be here for me.'
I'm just too confused now. :(

You know what, I think I just don't know how to face reality the right way.
For now, I shall just overpile my workload over my emotional load.

Studying sucks, but I guess it helps to distract you from everything else for a little while.

7days to midyears, gahhhhh.
And i want icecream, someone please treat me haha! (:
Xoxo.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

champagne roses and purple hearts

It's been a fruitful two&ahalf days mugging with Nana at NLB on thurs, Val at Singpost Macs on friday and Housewife at NLB this morning (before our shopping spree in the afternoon, yay!) (:

I think we all deserve a break sometimes. (:

On thurs, I went to Bras Basah's Popular to look for this chem assessment book and I only found it at some secondhand bookstore. Saddening. Ended up buying Chem TYS because I wanted to do chem questions so much. Sigh. Now, I've really no idea what to do with the answerless TYS booklet (And I wasted $11 on it). And I spent almost $40 on 2 chem books :( and a new earpiece which isn't half as nice as the old one (but I can't live w/o music and I can't afford to spend too much on a earpiece again!) :(

Dance was... is really different from the past. I guess it may be due to the fact that I'm a 18yearold-YW-transiting-into-YSA thing which makes me like one of the oldest youth in the stake and all but nevertheless, thanks for asking me to dance Michael (even though you asked me halfway during the song and you gave the excuse that you couldn't find me even though I'm like standing next to the couch(o.O) and spent a third of the time trying to get Neal's attention so that we can take a photo HAHA actually that was hilarious and so I think we ended up spending less than 5mins really dancing!) But still, it pretty much got me reminded how we used to abhor each other so much (for more than a year) 4 years ago and how we're so much closer now, it's just amazing, I guess. Good friends (: (And you owe me two favours plus my belated birthday icecream treat okay mwahahahaha!)

Solid Mugging Week ahead people! (I'm sorry looks are deceiving, but I'm not that much of a mugger in reality and I really hate having to study for the sake of a week's worth of papers.)

I'll give myself a good break after that! (Or rather crash Bren's place to sing/Light studying with the J2s. Miss them so much D:)

Father's day tomorrow.
Happy advance father's day! (:
Xoxo.

PS: I don't like world cup much, yet the results are just happily spammed on fb and twitter. :(

Thursday, June 17, 2010

We rode on horses made of sticks

Lesson learnt today: Don't ever think of mugging Bio at a place like Macs. Confirm fail ttm.
Sorry Sab. D: Need to work doubly hard with Nana tmr to cover up for today if not I can't go for dance on friday in peace. D:

Institute was pretty amusing though.
Scene 1
Me: *Copying notes from the board on my scheduler*
Michael: *Stares at my scheduler* "Valerie Chew... is that Gabriel Chew's wife?"
Me: *O.o*
Salted Pig (then SMS): Flirt with my cousin sia...
Scene 2
Michael: "I will spend maximum $40 for my wedding ring... eh no... $100..."
Me: "Are you competing with Gabriel to see who's more cheapo?"
Scene 3
Teacher: "If you can see a sign, what would you want to see?"
Dennis: "A pink elephant..."
YSAs of the class started laughing.

I am on the way to turning into a full-fledge (mentally, not physically, no thank you.) lame person thanks to all the lame people around me.

Toodles, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite mwahaha :)
(While I try not to regret my instant decision for cutting bangs - and no one could even tell except for Amanda and Jones. This is sad. D:)
Xoxo.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Esplanade, Promenade, Lemonade?

NYJChoir Musico 09-10Y

NYJChoir Exco 09-10 Y
Thank you for being my everything. :)
But I don't know how to live when my everything's gone. ):
Like Oli said, we should all retire in Czech and walk on cobblestones and eat ice-cream and laugh at Macs and sing like that old-men-choir (Gabcheow did make a point there, which was really quite cool) at Reduta Hall and explore the churches and sit at the city square and take pictures. I like. :D

There's a tinge of nostelgia that's still lingering in my mind as I type right now. One week ago at this time I was prolly heading for the Vienna airport ago. Two weeks ago I was excitedly waiting and doing my last minute preparation worrying why my luggage was unusuall heavy despite packing according to the list.

I really miss my exco though I met up with them last Saturday together with Sihao who was back for a couple of days! (: Awesome lunch, camwhore and chat time with em'.

But I'm through with jetlag (finally, because ever since the day I came back, I just had to make my sleeping schedule worse when I slept at 4am on the first day, 6am on the second day and it goes on...) and I guess I've pretty much tuned back to reality, which is fantastic because time is not on my side... (though I'm blogging now because I'm to tired to pump in more information in my head for today.

One bad thing though, I need people to study with me like, every day. I sound so reliant on others (I don't know how I'm supposed to survive next year, but we'll see when the time comes... o.O) and I just realised that I have no study partner on thursday HOW NOW BROWN COW! ): I will find someone by tomorrow... I hope! (:

Anyway the past two days were pretty good - Monday morning was spent in school (no thanks to bio tutorial which was a waste of time because we had to stone while she went through some answers with the other classes when she's gone through with us already) followed by math tuition at Sis Marlene's before hurrying down to meet Mare to study with her at Novena Food Court. (I'm really sorry I was so late!) Did a bit of math (not bad considering how packed I was in the day and I was feeling a bit tired from all the chionging in the day) and a little h2h talk plus catching up with the girl. (: Headed down to Charm's place after that to collect the cloth bag from Vienna (and she was wondering why I was still clad in my uniform, heehee!) and we ended up chatting till 9ish at night before I headed home. Heehee. Not very accomplished day but at least that was a start. (:
Today was mugging session at Esplanade with the (self-proclaimed) smart Alex which was productive since I've completed two sets of Math revision packages, read and review through IMF in about 5hours straight which was almost about what I had to do today by 5.15pm. So yay me! Went down to Marine Parade library to study a bit more (read through a bit of Biomolecules) but it was quite fail because I think I was exhausted from the consecutive hours of studying PLUS I LOST MY EARPHONES D: BAHHHHHH ): so I went to Popular to buy my blue and black pen before going home. And you know what, I bumped into many many people today, like seriously! Met Ivy (Who was heading for Dhoby Ghaut) on the way to Esplanade, Mare & Esmond while studying at Esplanade, Winston (the TKG Security Guard) who shouted "ONG JIA MIN!" outside Paya Lebar MRT (which was quite embarassing and left me stunned but OHMY HE REMEMBERED MY NAME AFTER LIKE, ONEANDAHALFYEARS SINCE I LEFT TKG?! SO AWESOME HAHA! Okay I'm mad. :P) and Yi Ying, Vic Chew and Chan Wan Ting (Primary School friend who was so shocked I remember her name! Haha!) after buying my pens at Popular while walking to the bus stop at PP. That's like, 7 different people from everywhere in less-than-24hours. This world is seriously small (Or rather, Singapore is, haha!)

Okay I just found my thursday study buddy! :D
So plans from tomorrow till friday:
Wed: Study date with Sab, Institute in the evening
Thurs: Study date with Nana, before getting Zee's belated birthday present!
Fri: Study date with Val Chew, Post YC Dance in the evening (though I didn't go for YC, but it's my last post YC dance, lol!)

Need to continue planning for the next few days!
But for now, yay me! (:
I will turn MYEs topsy turvy!

Yay, is such an awesome word to use, seriously :D
And I like my smileys like this (:
Xoxo.

PS:I don't like how the swirly chairs in Esplanade Library makes me too short for the tall tables. And how the blinds are quite useless since the sun was... overbearingly bright till I had to remove my specs :(

Sunday, June 13, 2010

If anyone can make the most of living here, then it's you

I've been back for a couple of days and glad to say my jetlag's getting alot better despite my haywire schedule since I touchdown on wednesday.

This Olomouc trip sure taught me a wholeload of lessons - a mix of good and bad that I know I'll never learn from textbooks.

And for the people who texted me to wish me bonvoyage &/or all the best for competition, thankyou so much. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated, really! :)

Anyway, competition-wise, we attained a silver(87) for youth mix and gold(92) for folklore for Festival of Songs. Considering where of us came from (Plenty of non-aesthetic group people plus a good number of uniform group people), how much we've put in to make the attainment of a gold which seemed so far turn into a reality and how much we've grown along the way, I'm glad and I'm proud of NYJChoir. It's been a wonderful experience being able to sing with you guys and grow stronger. Thank you for everything, everything that I've been given.

One day I'll go back to Olomouc and Vienna again. That's a promise (:

More uploads later, gonna take a nap now, good afternoon peeps!
Xoxo.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back.

(till the 9th June, about 1400, T1, if you wanna come greet me at the arrival, hahahaha! ) :D

Singapore - Dubai - Vienna - Olomouc - Vienna - Dubai - Singapore.

Good music, good icecream, good company
here I come! :D

I can sweet talk to the choir with a LOLLIPOP for the next 8days, HAHA RYOFRED THANKS FOR THE LOLLIPOP! :P

Is it so hard for you to say "bon voyage"?
Are you acting dumb or do you really not know?
Xoxo.