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Hey! This is Jesmine but there are a thousand and one others out there who calls her Jia Min too! She's (finally) 18 and is more than happy to be showered with gifts on the nineth day of the third month each year. She's currently mugging in Nanyang Junior College with a bunch of cute people in 1002, but she still loves and misses her alma mater, TKGS together with her dearest 4e1 very very much. She ditched her 4-years long CCA, netball, for singing - both in choir and as a soloist (Just don't ask her to sing Don't Cry For Me, Argentina. It's Marisa's new ploy to watch a free show! And I know poor Bren's sick of playing it!) She's been stuck in Alto 2 in choir for a good ol' 5 years while her dearest conductor is still deciding whether to leave her there or transfer her somewhere else, but she takes the performing role of a mezzosoprano as a soloist (and communicate her 3-octave range using her perfect pitch to her rocking friends who in turn gives her nicknames of innate objects such as tuning fork, piano and amplifier. :/) Oops, she nearly forgot to mention that she was a part of the Superwomen(Student Welfare) committee of the Prefectorial Board back in the good ol' TKGS days. She's awesomely proud to be an Latter-Day Saint, and savouring her last year as a Laurel before she gets kicked out of YW. She loves her family and friends to bits, and in her (very little) free time, adores chilling out with her friends, attend concerts, shopping (and window shopping too. Money don't fall from the sky, y'know.), singing, tinkling on the piano, blogging, FBing and there's so much more she'll prolly need a thousand pages for her to fill up her "LOVES&HOBBIES" section. Flowers, cute huggable soft toys, helium balloons and (hand-written) letters and notes are some of her favourite things.♥

PS: I can/can't believe you just spent/wasted 5 minutes of your life reading her introductory speech. Btw, she LOVES people who tag on her tagboard, so do make sure you let her know that you were here! Have an awesome day anyway! (:






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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

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Sunday, November 29, 2009
The loser standing small

WORD OF THE DAY: INADEQUATE.

Okay, yes yes, even though my bro has been saying that and annoying the hell out of the poor AMK youth people with his new pet word (Apart from nia and ita. Can't stand him sometimes.), it's pretty much true, I guess. I'm feeling this sort of inadequatecy and perhaps, incompetence. I don't know, I can be all high, happy and hyper on the outside but I know the inside of me is still feeling wayyy too insecure. Deja vu much?

This year has challenged me in so many aspects. This year, I have been literally thrown me down on my knees. I know I can't say I had my share of joy - my most awesome bunch of choircomm members, conductors and teachers, some of the best few buddies I've had in JC, a couple of delightful and inspiring teachers, prized secondary school BFFs, understanding church members to share my weals and woes with me. I understand through pain only then can you see the people who really love you for who you are, but, why must I really go through so much just to see. Why must I shed so much tears and sweat, suffer through sleepless nights, go close to bersark trying to complete assignments and study for CTs and LTs, only to suffer the immense pain of failure. AGAIN.

Everytime I assure myself that I've tried my best, the results are just too bleak to make my assurance feel real.

Either I'm incompetent or I'm just getting too weary for my own good.

I keep telling myself to pick myself up from wherever I fall, but I genuinely have no idea how long I can try to psycho myself.

I'm sorry, whoever's reading this. I'm actually getting tired putting up a facade front in front of everyone, but I know I must. Okay, maybe not a must, but, I don't know why I always sense the guilt when people come up to me and say "Hey Jes, are you alright?" (Like Oli) or "Hey, you okay or not?" (Like Chewy, after Oli's question.) Especially my family members, my parents. I know, despite their nagging and all, they're the most worried for me, especially seeing how I've never been so down for the 17 years of my existance ever.

I love my family. I love church. I love choir. I love 0901.
I don't want to give up any of these,
but I guess it's too much greed on my side.
I know, it's time to sacrifice some things.

I hate failure. I really do.
But I suppose I've never really experienced failure for the past 17 years, so perhaps, this might be the time of trial.

On my seventeenth year, I've turned into a (close-to-complete) rebel. So where has that sweeter demeanor gone to?

I need to kneel and pray fervently, again.

While I continue anticipating silently,
(please call soon, please call soon. I hope I'm not waiting for nothing.)

The winner takes it all, the loser standing small. (still)